I am almost always late to the party. Sometimes the last one there. This is usually because I choose to. I often think to myself "if I show up later I won't have to be there as long, and won't have to socialize too much.". This isn't because I hate people, or because I believe I am wasting my time talking. I try to avoid social interaction because I find it to be physically exhausting, and unenjoyable. I have been this way all my life, and at some point I decided to figure out why I struggled to interact with other people while my mom and brother seemed to enjoy it. I found that what I was experiencing could be because I was introverted.
Being shy and being introverted are sometimes used interchangeably, but in reality they are slightly different. When a person is shy they are often quiet, easily embarrassed, and do not like to voice their opinions, usually out of fear of disapproval. Introverts may experience these same symptoms, but in addition they are also physically affected by social interaction. Introverts are not positively stimulated by interaction with other people, and become worn out by simple conversations. In contrast, extroverts are stimulated by social interaction and can gain energy though simple conversation. I find this to be completely fascinating because I have no idea what being an extrovert would feel like as I have only ever had an introverted perspective. Instead of socializing, introverts find other activities to be stimulating. For example, I have found that after reading, drawing, or simply being left to my own thoughts, I gain energy. Sometimes such activities will better my mood as well. These results can then be compared to how I feel after a two hour party. (Allow me to explain how almost every party or social gathering goes for me in these next few sentences.) For the first 15-20 minutes I am able to introduce myself, laugh, and make light conversation. After that period of time I am usually a little tired, and will likely get something to eat or drink and sit by myself on the couch or at the table. This is were problems occur. People will see me sitting alone and think that I am lonely, when in reality I just don't have the energy to talk much anymore. Then I get people coming up to me and trying to make a conversation, and I truly want to talk to them because I know that they are being nice, but I can't hold onto the topic for more than about two minutes and they eventually leave. If others continue to come up to me I usually retreat to en empty room (the bathroom is always nice, no one will bother you there). I attempt to spend the remaining time at the party in relative or absolute solitude. The end result is me going home and falling asleep almost instantly.
That may have seemed like an unnecessary explanation, but I believe it is relatable to those who are introverts, and a good way to describe what being introverted feels like. To extroverts, it probably sounds pathetic that someone would leave the company of others in favor of a bathroom, but this is one of the only ways that introverts can cope with an extremely extroverted society. Over time, society has decided that an extroverted personality is more desirable than an introverted one. However, it is not realized that introverts are often the thinkers and creators of the world. This is not to say that extroverts are unintelligent, rather they spend more time socializing than thinking. For example, I would say that approximately 10%-15% of what I think about is vocalized, and only 45%* of my day is socializing (*this is when I am in school). I keep most thoughts to myself, and will often think about a topic long after it's discussion has ended. After asking my mother (who considers herself extroverted) she says that she vocalizes 60%-75% of her thoughts. I was shocked when she said this. "How could anyone share this much?" I thought. She also brought up another good point. She said that she shares more with those closer to her, for example friends and family. I would have to agree with her on this, and say that around very close friends and family I probably share around 30-40% of my thoughts, but certainly not any more than that.
Being introverted is a fascinating thing to be.
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